Rip-off News round-up. Our pick of the last week's media (Thu 9th August)

Savers warned over sneaky accounts that promise loyal customers a golden return

Savings accounts misleadingly named 'Gold', 'Premium' and 'Royalty' are tricking savers into deals paying  rates of less than one per cent. DAILY MAIL
("We tried naming the accounts 'rubbish', 'rip-off' and 'Duke of York' but nobody signed up," said one bank)

Financial Services watchdog chief Lord Turner had ethics role at £160bn 'terror scandal' bank Standard Chartered

There is no suggestion of wrong doing but Lord Turner's close ties with Standard Chartered are acutely embarrassing for the peer touted as a successor to Bank of England boss Sir Mervyn King. DAILY MAIL
("What? That he can't spot a major international crime happening right under his nose has now made him the clear odds-on favourite to get the Bank of England job," said Ladbrokes)

Surprise as economy boosted by £5 billion payouts by banks for their mis-sold PPI 
The financial regulator forced the banks to refund £13bn of mis-sold payment protection insurance. The first £5bn put back into ordinary citizens' pockets is doing more to boost Britain’s stuttering economy than the government's own initiatives, official and bank data show FINANCIAL TIMES
(The evidence strengthens the "Plan B" case to put more money into our pockets by reversing the government's "Plan A" cuts. When asked for a reaction to this coincidental and unexpected embarrassment a spokesman said "We should have to cut that regulator's budget even further")

Church of England sells News Corp shares in phone-hacking protest
Fears that Rupert Murdoch group has failed to learn corporate governance lessons prompt church to offload £1.9m stake GUARDIAN
(One dissenting bishop said "Bad decision. It's a good investment and they swore on the bible they'd mended their ways," according to a phone message intercepted by News Corp)

Top savings rates plunge as the Government’s £80bn gift to banks to kick-start lending hits savers

Last week the Government gave banks access to billions of pounds (again!) to lend to homeowners and small businesses. But savers are losing out as banks take advantage of cheap money and cut savings rates further. DAILY MAIL


RBS boss admits banks became 'detached from society'
Mr Hester added that while the banks had now largely fixed all their structural faults, they still had to return to putting customers first. BBC NEWS

Greek bank boss sent savings abroad months before his bank headed for insolvency

Dozens of wealthy Greeks, among them politicians, bankers and shipowners, have bought high-end properties in London in the past three years as they seek shelter from the country's deepening crisis. It's left millions of ordinary Greeks squeezed by tough austerity measures. CNN NEWS
(...but on the bright side it's kept property prices high in London and first time British buyers off the property ladder. We call it trickle-across)

Standard Chartered Bank accused of scheming with Iran to hide transactions

British bank named in scathing report by US regulators which claims the bank helped Iranian clients skirt US financial sanctions. GUARDIAN

Unpaid "slave labour" work schemes ruled lawful by High Court, but withdrawing benefits for not participating is unlawful
The judge says the government-backed schemes are lawful. But the rules for withdrawing benefits for those not participating were unlawfully applied. Way now open for tens of thousands of people docked benefits to be reimbursed. GUARDIAN
("This country has a long tradition of forcing people to work for nothing, and a shorter one of not bothering to turn up. Both are lawful" said the judge)

Lloyds online fraud chief admits £2.4m fraud

Jessica Harper took money over four years while head of fraud and security for digital banking at Lloyds Banking Group GUARDIAN

("No anti-fraud system is perfect. This is one fraud that just slipped through," said Ms Harper as she was led away)

Banks sell children sold short on their savings deals with gimmicks rather than robust rates

Instead of accounts that beat inflation, banks routinely provide savings accounts paying risible interest as low as 0.2  per cent after tax - but regularly feature free gifts such as tacky and insultingly worthless piggy banks. DAILY MAIL
(...and in other news the Federation Of Piggy Bank Manufacturers announced today their members will be offering high street savings accounts with every piggy bank)

Cap water prices and charge more to use a hosepipe: Former regulator says water reform must focus on price

A study by ex-Ofwat chief Sir Ian Byatt calls for a price cap to keep hikes in water bills at inflation or below. As part of the suggested reforms the industry needs to look at introducing a special tariff instead of imposing a hosepipe ban. DAILY MAIL